Destined to reign.

Monday, February 28, 2005

+ final class phot0 le +

yupz. todae we took our last class photo le. so sad. might nort get tuh see him after tis yr le. dunno ish gd tink or bad tink. hahaz. haf such great fun takin photos todae. hahaz. i stand quite near tuh him. actualli ish juz below him. hahaz. so happie yea. realli happie. found out tha mre i try tuh forget him tha harder it gets & tha mre pain i feel. so shall juz let nature takes its course. during tha fun shot, ginny asked yanhan if he can carry her anort dan yanhan nvr sae anitink dan i play play sae jump on top of him larz. dan she realli jump on top of him. hahaz. i nort angry larz. cuz i noe ish lyk fren fren lidat de. bud a lil' jealous lohz. hahaz. wah.!! reine and jas oso saw dan dey mre 'jealous' dan mi. hahaz. gd tuh haf such fren ya. i realli lurfe em so much.

deirc in class tis morning bud no body noes cuz i'm so clever i gei gei slp bud was niyrc. tis wae no one even knew i was niyrc. yea. dat's why in tha mornin was quite moody. whenever i listen tuh tong hua tears will fall lyk tha tap nvr close lidat. haiz. nort i wan de. realli carn control. dun scold mi. i realli wan tuh be happie. recess he sit juz ryte infront of mi. wah.!! so pai sei. feelin cum back agn. wth. i'm so dissappointed wif myself. so useless. juz look at him in tha eye dan my heart will soft liaoz. haiz. dan dat ginny arr. everidae i tired she will cum ask mi :"why eu so moody todae.?" she ask mi tis qn lyk dunno how mani tymz can. she sae nort tired i listen oso sianz alreadi. hahaz. dan ltr she tink i nort happie her. lolz. bud i realli nort lohz. i ish tinkin bout him and realli veri tired wad. haiy0z. dun care her liaoz. i wanted tuh be her good fren before de horz. bud she betrayed mi de. so tuu bad lohz.

as for shuyi lehz. i'm still figuring how tuh forgif her bahz. everitym see her so moody cuz of dunno wad. bud most probably ish becuz of him de larz. dan my heart will soft de lehz. lyk wan tuh go up tuh her and tell :"her i realli forgif eu le." bud when i tink of all dose tinkz she and ginny haf done tuh mi i'll tink :"ish it worth it.?" i dun hate her i juz dislyk her actions.

lluurrffee bbrroouugghhtt mmii ppaaiinn aanndd lliieess...

@8:44 PM

Thursday, February 24, 2005

[[+ sUm daE sPeciaL +]]

ytd rushed hm str after sch cuz of tha dnt city tour. hahaz. it was so fun. ahnan looked lyk a retro ah beng. hahaz. esp wif tha shades on. dan dat claron so bad sae sumone look lyk ba zhang. hahaz. lolz.we went tuh tis art place dan dey were lookin at tis pic and i juz said dat looked lyk a snake's eyes dan all of em' luff at mi. guess wad's tha reason.? it was actualli a pic of a women's body and tha part i said looked lyk an eye was tha women boots. i was so embarrassed lohz. hahaz. mr jalleh oso luff at mi lehz. wah.!! i feel so dumb can. hahaz. realli dumb. bud i still enjoyed my dae.

dan ltr i went tuh watch movie wif mean jas reine and reine's vroom vroom. hahaz. we watched white noise. it was so scary lohz. i jumped out of my seat for dunno how mani tymz lohz. thru out tha whole movie jas rain & mi was covering almost half of our face. hahaz. dan dat stupid mean sae we three veri synchronise. move our hands up down up down at tha same tym. hahaz.bud it was realli scary larz. tha last part i was realli shocked lohz. i tot nth was gonna happen le bud sumtink did happen. i totalli jump tuh tha side. hahaz. after tha movie we went to 302. dan tok so much. mostly ish jokin. hahaz. dan dey told mr tay bout tha snake's eyes. he luff lyk he gonna die lidat. so wad wan lehz dey all. always suan mi wan. bud nvm. ltr i and mr tay oso suan back reine. hahaz. dan went hm at bout 1:30am lidat. and slept at 2am lidat lohz. woke up at 3 plus 4pm lidat. dan went for my tuition lohz.

i din lie dat i'm okie. it's juz dat i still tink of him in tha nyte or when i'm alone or haf nth tuh do. tears do fall sumtymz. i'm still sad. bud dat doesn't mean i'm nort okie. eu tell mi how am i tuh forget him when i get tuh see him everidae.? when i've love him for almost three yrs.? i'm juz gettin tuh deep in now. bud i'm still forgettin him cuz i see no future for us at all. when i tink of tis i'm startin tuh cry agn. haiz. wadever. i feel so weak.

hhooww ccaann ii ffoorrggeett hhiimm aafftteerr ss00 lloonngg..??

@10:37 PM

||+ c0nfused +||

haiz. todae eunice told mi tinkz bout her. haiz. she ish so sad dan wanna break cuz of ppl dun lyk em together. so stupid lehz she. haiz. why wan tuh bother bout others when eu so happie wif him.? if dey're ur frenz dan dey wun tok behind ur back de mahz. if dey're ur frenz dan dey will be happie for eu if eu're happie wad. so why bother bout em'.? dey ain't ur true fren lohz. hey eu.!!! dun kip tokin behind eunice back lehz. eu noe she realli veri sad de mahz. she treat eu lyk fren dan eu lehz.? dun always jealous of her larz. eu dun haf a guy dan oso dun wan her tuh haf mehz.? eu call urself a fren.? wth.

haiz. i've been so tired recently. i realli dunno why. i can jux lie on bed tha whole day and tink bout stuffs. started cryin when i tink of him agn. haiz. melbe i shld juz st0p tinkin bout dese tinkz le. bud i tot if i said i could forget him i could bud it doesn't work dat way. i realli feel veri sad bahz. gettin sadder each day. i'm in a dilemma. i'm tryin tuh be happie. i get alittle uncomfortable when i see her loz. dunno why.

wah.!!! today super pai sei lehz. dat stupid chester larz. i lend him my book dan in tha end i kana embarassed. actualli he oso veri pai sei wan larz. mrs ho lohz. she found out i lend chester my book dan she wan chester tuh read a marriage vow for mi in front of 4C and my class lohz. wah.!!!! i damn pai sei lehz. oso veri innocent okie. i bein kind lend him my book dan i kana tis kind of tinkz. dan in tha end everione kip sayin after dat. wth. dan dat reine and jasmine larz. luff tha loudest. summre ish my fren. nvr help mi de. hmph. lolz. realli veri paisei lehz. bud nvm after a few days dan dey will forget le. hahaz. dan dat miss teo. nvr help mi still call tha whole class stand outside and watch. make mi mre paisei onli. he oso saw. bud he oso cum disturb mi. hahaz. all so bad de.

ii''mm ssttaarrttiinngg ttuuhh hhaattee hheerr llee.

@8:45 PM

Saturday, February 19, 2005

hurtz..

she doesn't lyks mi bud why dun she shows it.? i realli dun get it. i feel so frustrated sumtymz. nort by her its lyk everitink. everi single tink dat i do seems tuh be tha wrong decision. i realli hate my life now. she saes dat i spoil her mood when she saw mi. bud tell mi i'm her fren so wad does she realli mean.? do a fren spoil ur mood when eu see her.? no eu dun. so dun expect mi tuh believe eu animre. yahz. he lyks her so i can do nth bud gif up. i'm tryin real hard. if eu two realli get together well wish eu all tha best bud i would still feel jealous ya. dun blame mi. dat's tha least i can feel now.

cryin doesn't help ya.? bud do eu tink i wanna cry.? why do i choose tuh be sad rather tuh be happie. i realli wanna be happie bud i dun wanna pretend tuh be. so frenz pardon mi plz. dun bother bout mi. i pr0mise i gonna be fine in no tym. dun doubt mi. i'm realli tryin tuh forget him. juz feel lyk deletin him from my life bud i carn. i nit tym. i tot if i said i would be okie dan i would be. bud i found out tha mre i sae dat tha mre pain i feel. i feel pain when i see her. i feel lyk cryin when i see him. so how's my life gonna be w/o him.? i realli dunno.

it has becum a habit for mi tuh cry before i slp now. its lyk if i dun cry i carn fall aslp. i realli dunno wad's happenin. i guess its called numb. i wake up wif swollen eyes and i haf tuh spent god damn tym tryin tuh make em look fine so dat my parents and frenz dunno wad happen. i feel so sick and tired of life lyk tis bud i carn stop cryin. if i breakdwn in sch guess i would nort be surprised. matters bottled up in my heart. so much dat its gonna explode soon. who can i tell em tuh.? dun wanna bother jas rain ting and ice wif my troubles cuz i noe dey haf deir own. no ones dere tuh share my sorrow joys and wadever since i moved out of my grannie's. my frickin family doesn't care at all. i miss my grannie. i realli love her so.

i'm realli sorrie for gifin attitudes these few daes. dat's nort wad i wanna do realli. i juz carn control myself. scold mi ignore mi wadever. juz dun bother bout mi when i throw my temper plz. i realli dunno wad's happenin tuh mi. i feel lyk a total idiot.waited so long tuh be hurt now. sounds dumb? yahz. totalli. nothing hurts lyk love dat phrase suits mi now.

:: brokendreamzbrokenhearted ::

@3:46 AM

Thursday, February 10, 2005

[[+` chinese.new.year `+]]

spent half tha dae spin and tha other half bakin cakes. why tha sudden interest in bakin cakes eu might wonder.? well. juz tot it was a gd idea tuh kip mi beezi so as tuh stop mi from tinkin bout sum stuffs. bud it din nort work at all. i bake 4 cakes in 6 hrs bud i still cried. i dunno why i've been feelin quite low or rather veri low recently. no matter wad i do be it slp eat bath i'm always tinkin bout dose tinkz. why.? i juz wanna st0p being so sad bud how do i do it.? i nvr found a solution at all. my birthdae ish juz few hours away bud i'm nort happie lohz. he hasn't wish mi happie birthdae. haiz. and he's sort of sick. so sad.

hoping tml would be a happie dae..!!! realli hope s0..

.-.kim694.-.
+imisseueveridae+

@9:50 PM

Monday, February 07, 2005

::m|xed f3eLings::

.::.dUnn0.::.

0n sat [05.02.05], i went to watch shenzhe trg agn. hahaz. lolz. when we're at dere. we saw a bunch of kids dan dey all veri cute de lehz. hahaz. hence, we play wif em lohz. gort 5 kids dan one baby. hahaz. nick(bad temper wan) celest(prettie wan) amelia(oldest wan,pri 6 lehz) cendric(supEr suPer cuttiE) hahaz. i lyk him so much. lolz. he realli veri veri veri veri cute lehz. hahaz. lyk dose guaiz guaiz shy shy wan. hahaz. so adorable. i played wif celest tha longest. hahaz. she oso veri cute bud she lyk tuh bulli mi de. hahaz. after deir trg, 694 go disturb amelia sae:" if he shoot in dan run 10 rdz." in tha end nvr run lohz. he lose dan juz stand on tha spot and turn 10 rds. lolz. hahaz. bluff lyte gal de. dan he tok to mi. hahaz.lolz. he ask mi to see him shoot. hahaz. happie lehz. he still ask mi if cendric ish my bro. hahaz. dan nick go borrow deir bball dan dun wan return so i go coax him lohz. in tha end kana beat. hahaz. dan he angry lohz. hahaz. dun wan tok tuh mi. dan dunno go whr. so we go find him lohz.dan i carrie cendric back. lolz. he so nice to carrie lehz. hahaz. veri guaiz. 694 oso lyk cendric lehz. lolz. hahaz. dan he oso veri wad. go carrie cendric till veri veri high. lolz. bud so cute. lolz.

dan ltr ginny & ping went to mit aaron dey all so i went hm lohz. dan in tha end i sit alone at tha bus stop opp CC wait for bus dan in tha end when waitin for tha bus i saw him oso at tha opp bus stop. hahaz. bud my bus cum le so carn see him for long. haiz. dan felt veri moody suddenly dunno why. dan kip walkin. walk go hm dat wae i walk to a canal dan walk to reine hse dere dan walk go hm le. i was cryin all along & listenin to 933 yin yue ri zi. i dunno why i'll cry bud i juz feel veri sad. becuz of certain tinks i guess. tears juz roll dwn. feelin real tired lykin him. i nvr regreted lykin him bud juz feel helpless sumtymz.

[[wo heng xizng ta.!! zhen de heng xiang ta.!! ke shi ta shi yong yuan bu hui zi dao de]]
::wo zhen xiang li kai zhe ge shi jia.!! wo huo de hao tong ku ya.!!::

@8:46 PM

`sad++new++year`

i dunno why i feel sad these daes. tha mre i try tuh be happie in tha dae tha harder i cry in tha night. no one noes. even my parents. i cried everi single dae. i dunno why realli dunno why. i juz feel sadden by certain tinks i see and hear everidae. sumtymz i juz feel dat i haf fallen for tha wrong guy. bud i carn control my feelins at all. my birthdae ish cumin new year has arrived bud i feel no excitment at all. i juz feel sad. real sad. recently i've been alone. tinkin bout tinkz dat i've nvr tot of b4. no one cares.no one cares at all. bud it doesn't matter as long as he cares. i wish. i'm juz sad now. guess i would nvr recover. i'm happie infront of frens cuz i dun wan em tuh worrie for mi. i guess everitink cramp up inside of mi ish better tellin it tuh everione. i can still manage.

.-.kim694.-.

@8:03 PM

Thursday, February 03, 2005

his basketball match and my match against CT

On tuesday, i went to watch him play. hahaz. woohoo. i went crazi man. kept jumpin and cheering em'. hahaz. was happie dat dae cuz dey won. by juz one lucky point. if nort for wen xiong's shoot i guess dey wouldn't have won. hahaz. 694 missed 3 shots lehz. hahaz. bud he helped to screen wen xiong's defender so guess he's not dat bad. tha match was so nerve racking. everione was so agitated. Ct gort loadz mre supporters. bud we still won. hahaz. i hate CT's no. 15. he was so rough kept pushing our players lohz. Ct was so cunning. dey made all dose tiny moves. dan vincent defend a player when he was tryin to attack. wow.!! dat was spectacular.!! dan when 694 was shootin almost all Ct's players defended him and he was pushed and ended on tha ground. hahaz. so poor tink lohz. stupid Ct's players. play until so rough for wad.? wad kinnda players.? haiz. aniwae. i miss him.

ytd we lose tha match against Ct lohz. haiz. i was so sad. deir netball team and basketball team all tha same one. play till veri rough. oso veri JIAN.!! tha shooter(GS) whom i'm defending, she wanted to trip mi by putin her feet infront of mine dan dunno why she missed her step or wad dan she fall. it's fine if she fall bud she pulled mi along lohz. bud i din fall and in tha end my bibs gort tore into half. hahaz. it was farnie to dose watchin bud i was shocked. can eu imagine how rough dey are.? and i injured my ankle cuz she tripped mi once.dan she oso hit my ear so hard dat i was fricking angry. i realli couldn't control my temper dan. during tha last quarter of tha match tha GA & GS started to use deir elbow to attack us(xiao xue & mi). wtf.!! so cheap.!!

haiz. i was reprimaried by sharon. haiz. haiz haiz. i nvr gave up. realli din gave up. i oso dunno why she would sae so. so when she reprimaried mi i juz kept quiet. i kept quiet nort becuz i admitted i was in tha wrong its becuz i din wanta urgue. i cried ytd nort totally becuz of netball larz. its other matters. recently losta matters are bothering mi. everitink seems to in a mess. i realli dunno why. i was sad becuz if i was mre alert dan dey wouldn't haf shooted in so many goals. i was dissapointed wif myself. realli dissapointed. i wanted to cry in silent bud xx came to look for mi. haiz. dan everione noes i was cryin liaoz. so embarrassed. todae dey lose deir match bud dey still went into tha second round. CONGRATS.!!! hahaz.

::k!m694::
.-.nissIm m!h.-.nitiaw averof.-.
[[.+.depressed & disSap0inted.+.]]

@8:00 PM