Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head.



Maybe I'm dark, but I'm not goth .
Just because I cry, I'm not emo .
And I can scream, but I'm no prep .
Just because this heart don't love, who's to say it's self harm?
Okay, so you stereotype me .
The way I dress, the type of music I like .
And you automatically assume I'm that "Typical Emo Girl" .
I never gave myself a label, yet you criticized me of being something I'm not?
You are the one who gave me this stamp across my forehead .
How can you judge what you don't even know?
Once you are in my shoes, see the pain and scars I hide from everyone .
That's the day I dare you to look me in the eye and tell me who I really am .

Last sat MORNING, it's very unusual to see me up and kicking so early on a weekend .HAHS .
Met up with vone first then went to limbang mac for breackfast .
Crap around with that asshole jovey and went to see him play for a short while .
Then went bball-ling with vone.ahlin.aaron and aaron's friend(guo hui, I suppose .)
Played till it started to drizzle .
Had a really hard time getting a cab home .
Was supposed to study for goodness sake but I fell asleep on my desk .
Did my revisions later that night and missed the man utd match, I've totally forgotten about it .
I studied so much in these few days that I literally smell like the pages of my texts and notes .
And I having been chewing on junks like chips and chocs while I was studying, how great .
Here comes the extra pounds .

Dad woke me up at bloody 9am on a sunday morning for breakfast .
Like I alrd had lotsa beauty sleep .
So we went to lavendar for dim sum and headed to vivo because mom wanted to shop .
I'm so pissed with my lil' sister, she wants the best of everything but does nothing to deserve it .
Maybe the only reason she deserves all those stuffs is because she's the youngest of us all and it's in our family tradition that we have to give in to the youngest in the family . pfft .
Anyways, I brought 2 tops and a handbag from topshop, leggings from fcuk and a belt from gap(;
Talking about the belt from gap, my blood is starting to boil .
Dad spent $289 just on one outfit of his in gap and I just brought that pathetic $89 belt and he had to say it was useless .
HELLO! how can a belt be useless hur ?
I can actually lend it to you to belt sherry when she's throwing her princess temper, I'm very sure it's gonna hurt because it's made with genuine leather .
And most importantly, the main purpose of a belt is to tighten my pants/jeans/skirts, so tell me, how is it useless ?
Had lunch at "white dog cafe", food was good, service was great, music was so so .
Ya'all should visit that cafe .
After lunch, met up with Nigel and his friend and he treated me Starbucks, that Green Tea Frap .
And I've no idea why he decided to add whip cream to my green tea .
Like, who drinks green tea with cream?!
Our main purpose was to study but we couldn't focus with so much distraction .
Nigel showed me a magic trick and although I appeared un-shocked, actually I am .
I seriously think he threw the crushed paper at his friend .
They're in cahoots!
Try to cheat me only .
I must convince him to show me the trick again .
I MUST! I don't believe I can't figure it out .
I should open a forum for the heartbroken .
My friends are all heartbroken and worrying about Valentine's Day, being dateless and blah blah blah .
Not that I'm not worrying, I just think guys are scared of me .
I scare them all away, like what Nigel said .
Wow, I'm incredible, ain't I? Haha!
Singles till the end!
Who created Valentine's Day in the first place?
The person should just run into a knife and burn in hell . Tsk .
Actually, singles can go party themselves and who knows, fall in love with your bestfriend at the party, or some sort.
Oh, such adorable relationship. Haha!

Mom has been complaining that her vision gets blurred whenever she's reading things upclose .
Hence, dad bought mom her glasses today .
Some very wackily cute purplish-pink glasses, from uhm, Marc Jacobs?
Honestly, I don't know what is that .
I thought it was the Jacobs' Biscuit brand .
So I ask my dad whether Jacobs' Biscuits carry glasses as well .
And he gave me the are-you-nuts face .
Well, literally and honestly speaking, yes, I am nuts .
And so, I stared at my mom instead .
She got that weird expression on her face while staring at the glasses .
But she bought it anyway .
She looks good in them, I must say .
With her new hairdo and stuffs, blahblah .
Oh, you know, vain moms .

And my dad, he's another one okay .
Kept asking me to get another E.A. glasses for myself .
What's wrong with my current one? Nothing .
And a spare glasses need not be E.A. right? Keyword: SPARE .
All in all, I just refused to buy it .
Then he gave me the black face .
I mean, come on man, where can you find kids like me, saving my ass off, cutting down AUTOMATICALLY on expenses .
I think I may be suffering from brandophobia, or some sort.
Why can't I just be a typical teenage, striding around town in Chucks, jeans, slogan tees, SportsB, shorts, sandals, hippie hairdo, MAKE-UP FREE etc?
Anyway, my mom thinks I'm too rough and tomboy-ish.
Don't blame me, blame Issac.
By the way, Issac is the other half of me, the boyish side.
In the night, I metamorph into Issac.
I have split personalities. Haha!
And I always think Issac is a very hot name okay .
So, to all Issacs out there, love your name!
If only my mom gave me the name 'Issac', wow, I'll go sleepless .

No, I'm not done yet.
Now sherry, that unfilial daugther .
Keep insisting on buying a bloody Ripcurl beanie for her bf.
I must say although he suits the beanie look, but hello, shut up already.
So annoying, she keeps spelling B-E-A-N-I-E to me.
Like, shut up man.
And she kept emphasizing on the fact that I am shorter than her.
Bloody arse gigantic idiot.
She has shoe size of 7-9.
Bloody big for her age okay .
She spends one hour in front of the mirror styling her hair and comes out of the room looking like before. How silly!
As for Ryan(my cuzzy), he's just another Sherry-in-the-making, guy's version .
I discover wax in his hair today.
I must tell his momma .
What the heck is he doing?
He's running around the house with what, plastic bags tied to his feet?!

ZOMFG!

All Good Things ( come to an end )
This song is currently stuck in my head.
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?

Dead man walking.

I don't want to ever love another.

Pretty slack uh, today . Hmm, let's see, PEEE lect, GP lect ( the teacher thinks she's damn cute or something ), break, DE tutorial, GP tutorial . Uhm, pee-ed a million times because it's very chilly today, blahblahblah .
I didn't see PM today, because of the different combination, and so on . So now, I feel kind of dejected, is this the word to use? Haha, oh, you know what I mean .
Zg came to look for Randall & Fellas, treated him BaChorMee as a belated birthday thing. This is seriously pathetic man. Who gets BaChorMee as a birthday gift? Zomg, he looks uhm, very emo. Like, very. Perhaps it's just an expression of his inner thoughts via his outer appearance. Or something. He's just so different now. I can't recognise him anymore.
I suppose his inner personality is still within him.
Initially, it was Randall, him and me at the table.
And then more ruggers came, and soon the whole table was filled with well, ruggers?
I was the only extra THING there.
Was damn glad when Nigel called and told me to get my fat ass up to the dance studio immediately.
So I happily excused myself.
It felt so awkward sitting at the table with all of them!
Maybe it's just me.
I realised Mark is a nice guy, indeed.
So is Randall, and some unknown girl went to secretly snap a photo of this Ian guy.
How crazy!
I didn't go for Proj1 prac today.
I'm feeling the pinge of guilt now.
Why am I like that?
Hey kimberly, I despise you, you bloody moron.

On a lighter note, I realised I daydream half of the time, feel like sleeping the other half of the time.
So if you're a kind person, kindly scream/ shout/ shriek/ bash/ box/ kick/ pull my hair/ etc, so as to wake me up, whenever you see me dazing and staring into nothing at all.
Well, all I know is that Mr Nigel screamed into my ears during DE tutorial the other day when I fell asleep, and because of that shock, I became more alert. Okay, many just a little.
Wow, I must admit that was one of the greatest shock I ever had in my entire life on planet earth.
Seriously, I couldn't breathe for close to five seconds.
But I kind of like the after-effect of being shocked.
Come, come, I need to be shocked everyday. Bloody maniac. HAHA!

Oh yes, I went to sit in and look at Nigel dance today.
I must say, he's so damn adorable.
I feel as if he's my brother and I've the right to protect him from all forms of harm and danger.
Although he's a few hours older than me, but still.
I can't explain this, really.
And I'm not attached to him, for goodness sake.
My senior and her friend asked me the same repeated question again.
I narrated the entire thing to her, and her answer was the only one I'd never expected to hear before.
I think it's embarrassing to put it up here, but it's really something weird and amazing.
Funny how some people make you look at things from a different angle, you know?
Oh well, and Nigel is not my partner, for the nine billionth time!
I can totally see part of myself in him, that's why I know he will understand how I feel.
We're not T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R-L-Y !!
Aye, this issue is a bore.

After Nigel's dance prac, did the usuals like waiting for him and went back together .
Rushed home and took a shower then rushed out again.
Went to meet CT.duck.jas at bpp(;
We did all the fun stuffs and I miss CT damn bloody much, it's been like ages since I last saw her.
Chat.Gossip.Cam-whore(whole lots of em').LaughedLikeMad.
Shall upload visuals when I get em from CT and duck.
Shocking News known.
Dissapointed? YES.
Anyways, period to all these alrd.


Smile. It might not help you feel better.
But it'll stop people from asking whats wrong.

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer .

Just freaking finish my notes for PEEE! phew .

I know I should not listen to what others say, but then again, everyone knows I am easily influenced .
I am bloody naive .
I have no mindset of my own .
I can't decide for myself .
I can't bloody hell think on my own two feet .
I always doubt myself .
My self-esteem is eight feet underground .
What the fuck is wrong with me?

You know today when I was walking up to tutorial, I saw this poster on the notice board which says, "Feel like crying all the time?"
And I was thinking to myself "Yes", but then again, I can't let anyone know, can I?
I must uphold my strong and steady front .
So if one day I were to fall on my face, please try to pretend I'm alright .

I am alright !

Perhaps I should say this to myself three times a day, so I can psycho myself into believing I am alright .
And I won't look so glum and fugly and annoyed and depressed, instead I'll put on the brightest smile for everyone to see that I am alright .
*Note to self : 3-5 times a day, repeat this to yourself!!

Sad stuffs aside, here's a convo I had with Nigel yesterday :

Me: It's raining, how to go home? No umbrella .
Nigel: Wo ke yi jie ni Umbrella . ( I can lend you umbrella )
Nigel: Wo he ni you bu shi mo mo ren .
Me: *catch no ball
Nigel: Aye, how to say "You & me also not strangers"?
Me: Wo he ni you bu shi muo shen ren . ( You & me also not strangers )
Nigel: I thought mo mo ren is strangers?
Me: *speechless
Me: mo mo ren is so and so la!

He really cracks me up man .



sisters(;



And you call this a plaything .

Slowly losing grip.

I saw this group of convent girls a couple of days back laughing just about everything they were doing when it suddenly struck me how much i've missed my dear old friends .
And now as im blog-hopping, I realise just how much all of us have changed .
I started off as the nerdy kid the year I stepped into secondary school, there I met a couple of friends I promise I'll never forget .
I still remember the times we mugged hard for exams together and we played just as hard too .
We've done the silliest things, had our share of lil arguements, hid in toilets to escape from runs, stole dumb sign boards, and most importantly, stood by one another no matter what .
Well you name it, i'm sure we did it all .
Together we watched each other grow and I had the fondest memories then, the kind that would still leave a tingling feeling today .
We've all met new friends and moved on with our life.
But I guess a part of me still miss you all, have you guys been missing me too?

I love days of nothingness .
But you know days like these never last .
Life is too profound and perplexed for mankind .
Emotions stirs & it constantly gets the better of us .
Nevertheless, count your blessings, not your troubles.


thesameoldfeeling.

elevator music.

random shit.

Prelude to the aftermath.

Wasn't feeling very well for the last few days.
Gastric flu was the cause.
Anyway, went back to twss ytd for netball trg(:
Was with ahlin and ahling initially.
Then met up with the rest(xiaoxue.eunice.vone.shuyi & zisheng) at sch.
Had a lil' situation over at the security. damn PISSED!
Had to change into our shoes along the walkway man, how stupiddddd.
A few court games made me wanna vomit.
Guess it's because of the meds I took ealier on:(
Half-court games.full-court games.highest point.messing ard.
Xiaoxue and eunice went off first cause they had to work.
After trg, we went to have cheng teng with mrs neo at lot 1 and had a lil' chat.
Roamed ard alil' and all went home(:

It's appalling how words can be such a form of brutality.
Statements encompassed with sublime subtleties , angst and hatred .
The amount of hurt thrown onto me is by far the sharpest deviation away from the happiest days of our friendship.
The unwanted issues tangle up together with the people involved, thus complicating matters and hence the descrepancies. Such a quagmire I could never decipher.
My intentions were not as what you thought .
Somehow at this point, I know we're cool again but I can't help but ponder what will tomorrow be like for both of us.
I never had things going my way almost every other day.
I don't receive the kind of love I want from the person I expected the most out of.
These things happen.
Not only to you, but to me as well.
Look around you and you'll realise it's all the same everywhere.
Things were never made to be perfect.
I love you as a friend and you know I always will.

I cant stand my life standing by.

Simply said, im just very lazy.
Have been to cameron highlands, genting and JB with family last week.
And since im really lazy, I dont think im gonna relate every details here.
I just had a very fruitful and enjoyable holiday.
Went with one bag and back with four. woolala(((:
Some visuals will do the talking ltr on :]
The funny thing is I told ahlin and orhping that im gonna be gone for 3 days yet they were looking for me. hahs.
I wasn't missing in action, im just having my holiday. Laughs!

Had orhping's pre-celebration on wednesday with ahlin.vone.jacleyn(spelling).eunice and xiaoxue.
Went to a coffee shop at keat hong.
Had lots of laughter, all because of xiaoxue.LOL.
Brought a bangle for orhping and made her a birthday cake which took me 2hrs plus to make.
Hope she likes everything and not be so emo alrd.
Love you la orhping, pls pls cheer up girl(:
Afterwhich, orhping went off with her "hotdog", jac went hm and the rest of us went to bt. timah's century for pool-ing session.
Xiaoxue was the entertainer of the day la, she's like on drug or smth.
Super high and very entertaining. hahahahs.
She made our day la.
Went for supper at the opp. coffee shop.
Chat.gossip.laugh.ate.waited for xiaojiujiu and went home.
Was a really great day with so many happy moments((:
I wished we would have more gatherings like these!

Thursday, went back to tw with ahlin.
Was suppossed to complete my year long fucking melody box but found out the IC chip was burnt so there was nothing mr ng could do.
Ended up we spent our time chit chatting with teachers(:
And taking a stroll rd our sec school.
My mind seemed wholly taken up with reminiscences of past gaiety.
And I detest mr ralph cause he was mostly responsible for the closure of my beloved tw netball club!x
The place where I've spent my happiest moments and years in.
The place that gave me the chance to experiences strong bondings and great friendships.
The place where everyone worked hard for the same goal.
The club that we built with tears, hardships, arguments, laughter, achievements and most importantly, FRIENDSHIPS.
Is soon going to be a thing of the past and everything would be past tense from now on.
My heart aches whenever this reality strikes me :((

Friday, orhping's actual BIRTHDAY!
Went back to tw agn.
This time was for NETBALL((:
Main purpose was for the friendly court game with our juniors but because of the really BBAADD weather, we all had to stay indoors.
We joined em during some of their trg and the funniest incident was when ginny fell.
God! the impact was huge.
And I think ginny must have been feeling miserable but that xiaoxue made it looked and sound so HILARIOUS.
And she was the one who laughed the loudest, mind you.
hahahahas.
We cant stop laughing after that la.
But I hope ginny recovers soon, poor ginny :(
Think we're gonna meet up this coming wednesday as well(:
Cant wait, you know.
Later in the evening, ahlin, me and vone went over to cc's coffee shop for dinner and orhping met up with us over there.
After dinner, ahlin and yours truly accompanied orhping to bbdc and vone went to fetched enen.
Then headed to vone's place for MJ!
Won alil', vone was the big winner. LOL.
Enen was so very cute okay!
Was so shy at first but warmed up eventually. hahahas.
Then headed home afterwhich.
I love my life this way.

It's funny how my heart just won't let it go

Scatter the remains of a glass heart.

If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude.
It's because they have tired to blend into the world before and people continue to disappoint em.
They said you'd be their number one.
They said you'd be special.
But when you were eating all their lies, you start to notice they were all fake.
Do you ever wish you could die, but be alive at your funeral, just to see who would be there, just to see who would cry?
I can't listen to my favorite songs anymore because each drumbeat is a massacre, each keystroke is a regret and each chord is a memory of you.


even if I miss you, you're still not missing me.

Though I try to hide it, it's clear.

How wonderful.
At 9:38:32, some father of mine came and kicked me to get up, saying we're going for breakfast with aunt suzane's family.
Kick once, nevermind, he kicked and kicked and poke one billion times with his toe man.
Don't even know why his toe nail so long and sharp, like some razor kind. Grr.
What kind of father is this uh?
So I sat up, messy hair and all, waited for him to leave the room, then went back to sleep.
Then some asshole was shouting outside my window la!
Like, hello, people want to sleep can?!
That man was like, "Cheryl, I love you so much! I want to marry you ... " blah blah.
So loud man, like screaming into microphone etc.
I was so freaking pissed off I screamed at him from my bed, "Oei, idiot! People want to sleep la! Love your mother la, shut up can?!"
Then I went to peek at that asshole, and felt so friggin' guilty.
It was a groom who shouted, but good thing he didn't hear me, don't want to spoil any wedding.
Weddings are cool occasions you know. I love weddings.
Then that guy continued, "Cheryl, I love you, I really, really want to marry you!
Can let me go up and see you now?" This time in Chinese. So romantic eh?
So I'd no choice but to wake up.
I mean, it was so romantic I had to get my fat ass up and check out the groom properly right?
The groom, hmm, average looking but hey, it's the sincerity that counts. Keep it up, pal! Perfect wedding, no shame, no gain. Haha!
So I left house and saw five BMWs as wedding cars. Luckiest pigs.

Had breakfast at Coffee Bean. Not nice. I don't like their coffee, didn't even drink a sip of it.
Their black coffee so damn diluted, don't like.
I need coffee and I'm gon' get it. I must have it.
Later I will go drink to my heart's content. Hah.

I feel so bad telling Ryan nonsense. Here's what ;

Ryan: What school are you studying at now fengbin jie jie?
Me: Girls school. Hahs.
Ryan: Really uh?
Me: Yah la.
Ryan: Then how come your friend study same school as you uh?
Me: Which one?
Ryan: There, the one that watch movie with us, that one. I thought he's a boy, how come in your school?
Me: Oh, that one. Ah, he has this disease la, so he don't know if he's a girl or a boy. Actually, he's a girl, but he looks like a boy. You cannot tell anyone okay? Promise?
Ryan: Okay, promise.
Me: Everyone who has this disease studies in my school. That's why I look like a girl, but I'm actually a boy. *walks away
Ryan: *stunned

I think I didn't have enough sleep or something. I'm full of shit man. Sigh.

Ryan and Keith have Jiang later.
So adorable eh? Go Jiang together.
It used to be Keith and me, now it's him and Ryan.
My cuzzies are finally growing up.
This thought sure pleases me.
Oh wells. Gone were those days where I always complain to Lady Qin about how horrible Keith can be in those weirded 'journal' sort of worksheets.
Haha, those were the days.
When can I experience such stuffs again man?
Things are changing.
I don't like growing up. Not one bit at all.
I want to be a small girl again, whereby my daddy will bounce me on his laps.
I think if I demand my dad to bounce me at this unsightly age, I'll break his leg.
And he'll kick me in my head.
Dang, someone turn back the clock please. Grr.
Growing up sucks!


Goodbye now ( ;

Swirling flowers in violet days.


Some say love, it is a river,
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor,
That leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger,
An endless aching need.
I say love it is a flower,
And you it's only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only,
For the lucky and the strong.
Just remember in the winter,
Far beneath the bitter snows,
Lies the seed, that with the sun's love,
In the spring, becomes the rose.


somewhere a queen is weeping, somewhere a king has no queen.

simply said, happy new year everyone(:

HAPPY NEW YEAR PPL(:


Celebrated New Year with rainy.orhping.jassy.vonnie.xiaoxiao.feifei and rainy's family.
We had BBQ at rainy's place.
Was supposed to meet duckie.jassy.orhping and rainy for movie and some shopping in the afternoon.
Shit happens and in the end, only rainySohahlin and yours truly went to marina.
We had our fair share of fun though.HAHA.
Had sakae sushi for lunch and result in lots of stupid visuals.
All credits goes to my dearest and retard-est rainySohahlin. Laughs!
We were "tourists" okay. hahahhaas.
After lunch, walked ard marina sq for some shopping.
Ah lin was looking for a dress but cant find the shop):
I was looking for a glitter black eye pencil and found it in "The Makeup Store".
Headed home afterwhich, jassy and orhping came over to my crib and we slacked alil' till it's time to go for BBQ at rainy's place.
Helped out alil' with the mushrooms, hotdogs, chicken wings and sausages.
Was helping that Soh ahqing with the prawns and she pressed her smelly hands onto my faces and I did the same back to her. AHHAHAS!
She's really cute though abit lian. LOL.
Some of us played mj as we countdown to the New Year and some played uno-stacko(:
You would burst out in laughter if you had seen the faces of those ppl who played uno-stacko.
VERY VERY HILARIOUS, especially jassy. LOL!
Seeshaying till 3plus and xiaojiujiu sent us home. THANKS!
New year visuals still with jassy, will upload em' when I get it(:
Anyway, very cliche-ly, im gonna say, I had a really great time ytd!
Love you guys. hahahahas.
By the way, seeing how loving my sister and jerry are together makes me wonder when I would be able to find a guy that would tolerant all my short-comings just like how jerry is able to tolerant my sister's short-comings with grace and love, up till now.
They went for cable car dinner(is there a term for that?) and the first movie of the new year.
BAH!
What the hell, I should quit being so morbid.

What a feeling ;

It's as if my heart knows your the missing piece.

ITS JUST ME ; LOVE ME.
18 yrs of tragedy.
stinky stubborn.
always sensitive.
I have a changing personality
I am who I am.
<3 MOM:)
<3 chocolates.
<3 friends&famillayye♥
<3 netball.
<3 vintageAUDIO :D
<3 BAKERY.
<3 decorations.
<3 TRAVELLING.
<3 people who sterotype.
<3 Hypocrites.
<3 Cigars inventors
<3 Morning lectures.
<3 Guys with humongous EGO.
<3 Restrictions.
<3 MCP(s)

;limOrhping :D

ginnyGohzhini

yvonneChuaVonevone:))

fishyy the cuttie;

euniceTanfeifei.

rainySOHlinlin

duckieKefenfen :]

jasmineLimhuihui

evelynNgeveEVE

rachelSOHqingqing aka siHua

; beLOVEd fanaaa ;

; aisha ;

jiale;lilBRO;

myHONEY

shuyi

fredlameBUDDY:))

kaveee

guoliang

JOEL:)OBSpal

nem0the fish

shuoke

impressive writter

zuLBABE

jasmin`sweetie

faithyMISSEDYOU:)

kenji's official website.

kenji's blog♥

xiao gui's blog.

ai sha's blog.

peifen;933 DJ

dawnYANG

theSistersCompany

Free shoutbox @ ShoutMix

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I don't love you.

Well, when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

And after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you, like I did, yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you, like I did, yesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you, like I loved you, yesterday"

I don't love you, like I loved you, yesterday

I don't love you, like I loved you, yesterday