The thought card:))


i often wonder how ppl survive childhood and adolescence at all, dont you?
children take so many risks and do so many crazy things tht's hard to see how they manage to get through it all. when they get to adolescence, it gets crazier. tossed ard seas of hormones, pushed and pulled by the winds of impulses and drawn by the hope of hidden treasure in relationships with friends and others, adolescents can sometimes drown in all the confusion.
i must admit tht i personally was still an angry adolescent in my first years of sec sch. my anger was diffuse- the world didnt please me in almost any way. my anger was also focused- my parents didnt please me at all. i chafed under my father's direction and correction.

the other day, i had a serious fight with my dad.
i saw him as controlling and wanted to break free.
he saw me as rebellious and tried to reassert his authority. we both exploded in shouts.
i stormed outta the hse and missed my train to sch.
i knew tht catching the next train meant i would be late to my ptn class. tht made me even more furious. i fumed and sighed all the way to sch.
my mind raced with angry thoughts about my dad. lyk many teens, i was stuck in my egocentricity and im certain tht no one in the world had ever had sucha terrible dad or had to contend with such unfairness. as i ran across the campus towards the building whr my class met, i suddenly realised tht i didnt have the assignment tht was due: a thought card.
this class was taught by mr sng, one of the most unusual teachers ard campus. his policies and procedures were unique, his grading policy revolutionary and his teaching methods were abosolutely unsettling.

during our first lesson, mr sng had explained:" every tuesday, you must bring in a four by six index card with ur name and data on the top line. as for wad's on the rest of the card, tht's up to you. you can write a thought, a concern, a feeling, a qn or just plain anything tht's on ur mind. it's ur way of communicating with me. these cards will be completely confidential. but rmb, this card is ur admission card to class on tuesdays."
on the first tuesday of the class, i dutifully brought in my index card with my name and the data written carefully on the top line. i then added:" all tht glitters is not gold." the following day, mr sng returned the cards to the class and mine had a note tht says:" wad does this quote mean to you? is it significant?" this comment made me uneasy. apparently, he was taking these cards seriously and i surely didnt wanna reveal myself to him.
now i raced dwn the hallway, 10mins late to class. just outside the door, i took an index card from my notebk anf wrote my name and the date on it. desperate for smth to write on it, i could only think about the fight i'd just had with my dad. hence, i wrote:" im the daug of an idiot!" and passed it to mr sng.
the moment i reached my seat, i felt overwhelmed with dread. wad had i done? i gave him tht card! oh no! i didnt mean to let tht out. now he'll know about my anger, about my dad and about my life! i dont rmb anything about tht lesson, all i had in mind was tht card.
i had difficulty slping tht night, filled with a nameless dread. wad could these cards be all about? why did i tell him tht about my dad? suppose he contacts my dad? wad business is it of his anyway?
wednesday morning arrived and i reluntantly got ready for sch. when i got to class, mr sng was giving out the thought cards already. i picked mine up, almost unable to turn it over. when i looked at the card, it says:" wad does the 'daug of an idiot' do with the rest of her life?" it felt lyk someone had punched me in the stomach. i had spent alot of my time blaming my parents. these folks who were paying for my everything were certainly an interfering bunch of fools, werent they?
my sng's innocent seeming qn punctured tht ballon. it got right to the heart of the issue: whose prob is it? whose responsibility are you?
i had learned to see my dad as a smart, wise and loving man and it all started with a qn, an innocent seeming qn :)))


the opposite of love is not hate but indifference.

It's as if my heart knows your the missing piece.

ITS JUST ME ; LOVE ME.
18 yrs of tragedy.
stinky stubborn.
always sensitive.
I have a changing personality
I am who I am.
<3 MOM:)
<3 chocolates.
<3 friends&famillayye♥
<3 netball.
<3 vintageAUDIO :D
<3 BAKERY.
<3 decorations.
<3 TRAVELLING.
<3 people who sterotype.
<3 Hypocrites.
<3 Cigars inventors
<3 Morning lectures.
<3 Guys with humongous EGO.
<3 Restrictions.
<3 MCP(s)

;limOrhping :D

ginnyGohzhini

yvonneChuaVonevone:))

fishyy the cuttie;

euniceTanfeifei.

rainySOHlinlin

duckieKefenfen :]

jasmineLimhuihui

evelynNgeveEVE

rachelSOHqingqing aka siHua

; beLOVEd fanaaa ;

; aisha ;

jiale;lilBRO;

myHONEY

shuyi

fredlameBUDDY:))

kaveee

guoliang

JOEL:)OBSpal

nem0the fish

shuoke

impressive writter

zuLBABE

jasmin`sweetie

faithyMISSEDYOU:)

kenji's official website.

kenji's blog♥

xiao gui's blog.

ai sha's blog.

peifen;933 DJ

dawnYANG

theSistersCompany

Free shoutbox @ ShoutMix

December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007

I don't love you.

Well, when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

And after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you, like I did, yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you, like I did, yesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you, like I loved you, yesterday"

I don't love you, like I loved you, yesterday

I don't love you, like I loved you, yesterday